The teachers of this country have at least one thing going for them. their students hand them some of the funniest bloopers in the world right along with their homework. I'm not picking on American school kids , however, a few--through the slip of a pen--an unruly computer mouse or, simply ignorance of the facts--are so far off base in regards to history as to be in a whole other ballpark.
One young person wrote the composer, Ludwig Beethoven, "Was deaf so he wrote loud music." Another stated Handel, (also a musical composer)"Was half German, half English and half Italian." Even I can count better than that.
Poor Socrates suffered under student misinformation also. One child explained the old sage as, "A person who gave advise and got killed." Boy, am I living on borrowed time. I'll make sure my daughter-in-law never reads this. And, if that wasn't bad enough, the same young historian reported Mr. Socrates, "Died from an overdose of wedlock."
One girl's interpretation of a certain part of the past concerned Martin Luther, who had an excrutiating time. "He was nailed to a church door and excommunicated by a bull." And he wasn't even wearing a red dress.
Everybody has heard of King Solomon, but did you know that, according to one youth, "He had 500 wives and 500 porcupines." Talk about an overdose of wedlock. Bible characters represented a couple of other startling statements too, "Joseph sold his coat made from a sow's ear and bought a silk purse." While Cain wanted to know, "Am I my brother's father?"
The students wreaked havoc with ancient myths too. i.e.the mother of Achilles, "Dipped him in the river Stynx until he became intolerable." Wow, and some of us are just born that way. But, then, as one student put it, "Myths are merely female moths, after all."
In spite of the preceding errors, there are times when we should listen to young people. One of them penned, "There are no wars in this part of the country because the mountains are so high the inhabitants couldn't climb them to see what their neighbors were doing. " A major problem as we all know.
Speaking of wars, many a general has, "Extinquishing himself on the field of battle." And as for weapons, (it's only a little jump) William Tell shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head." I'll bet you didn't know Miquel Cervantes, "Wrote the best seller, " Donkey Hote, either.
Student bloopers also played fast snd loose with the facts regarding President Lincoln. they say he, "Wore nothing byt a tall silk hat while running the country." I can say with certainty he could never have given the Gettysburg address from the back of a train in that condition. He must have had on a pair of wool socks anyway.
The young learners , (we can but hope that is what they were)also put strange food in Abe's mouth when they quoted him as saying, "In onion their is strength." But, I sure do wish he was running things right now.
*** I'm missing everybody....sick with some kind of "gunk"