Thursday, July 23, 2009

Intuitive nonsense

While leafing through a magazine this week I found a reason given for the back problems of a lot of women. The article was written by a person in the health field introduced as an, "intuitive." Before going any further let me assure you I would never make light of intuition. After all, I am loaded with the stuff myself. I generally make an effort not to step in front of oncoming cars; never pet growling dogs, and refuse to ride horses under the age of twenty. "Something" always tells me these activities are likely to cause me some sort of trouble. No, I try not to judge; believing there is always something to learn.

If my understanding of the magazine article information is correct, here's the way it goes. (And I promise you it was presented in all seriousness." We ladies with aching backs have a feminine, "thread" that wasn't allowed to grow. What this thread is, and where it comes from the author never deigns to tell us. However, there is more.. We are further informed that the stunted growth of said thread has somehow brought about a fear of not being able to support ourselves. This was such a jump in common sense I checked to make sure it wasn't something I had written years ago myself.

For positive certain, this idea would take far more than a thread to hold it together. A rope the size of the Mississippi River wouldn't fare any better. But, let's play along for awhile. Why does the writer say that mythical thread didn't mature in some of us women? It's because someone failed. But, it wasn't any of us with the heating pad or the ice-pack pressed against out spine. With the modern day mind set, there has to be somebody ELSE to blame. And the proponent of the theory has a culprit waiting in the wings. It's another one to lay at the feet of good old Mom. (Or, as they would have it, bad old Mom.) She has barely been able to see over that pile for years anyway. What did she do to our psyche this time? Simple, the article continues, she was too busy trying to find a fully ripe of her own to give us the attention we craved. And, after that, Mom gets to toss another rock on on Grandma's pile...and so on.

You may well ask if men are burdened with the male counterpart of this mysterious string. There is no mention of it in the report. We are left to assume, (don't you love assuming?) that all men, being human like us, possess a male string of their own. We must then further assume one of two thingss. Unless you are a real Gung Ho assumer, and then perhaps you could go right on assuming into infnity. But, let's be serious. (Ahem) Either it has now grown adequately, accomplished its purpose and whisked itself off into oblivion, or, it hasn't made its presence known as yet, and therefore the guys are even more messed up than we are. It stands to reason then, that the latter would mean they REALLY have a lot of backaches. Come to think about it....


  1. Us poor moms....everything is OUR fault,! It is OUR moms' fault! Ha ha.

  2. Audrey,
    What an interesting idea about the thread. Glad you visited my blog. It's great to meet a fellow writer. Your career writing a column sounds like a lot of fun. Thanks for commenting on my blog. Have a great weekend.

  3. Dear Audrey, You're off to a great start on your blog.
    Your header is gorgeous.
    So glad you visited my blog and commented. Very nice of you with kind words.
    Hope you will return.
    I have really enjoyed getting to know others through blogging.
    Look forward to visiting here again.
    God Bless,
    from Home Haven