the homesteaders daughter: When I wasn't looking

Thursday, October 15, 2009

When I wasn't looking

My last post was about my father and how he loved and protected his daughters. We were not to have him very long because when I wasn't looking he slipped out of this life.

This beautiful stained-glass window was made by my sister-in-law Janet. She is an absolute wonder and just started this new craft/art not many days ago.

Fifty years have passed

Like ground mist in a

Morning sunrise

Can it really be that long?

Surely I saw that dear face

Only yesterday

Every flower claims its scent;

And Daddy's shaving cream

Was a favorite blossom

I smell it still

Across a half-a-century

Of deprivation

His gentle hands

Are more remembered

Than last night's dream

And yet....

Those same hands only touched

His loved ones for

Forty-four racing.

Plummeting, laughing years

And then,

They moved no more

Hearts, sore and torn,

And angry

Were left behind

Oh, Daddy!

2 comments:

KarenOctober 15, 2009 at 8:03 PM
What a precious heartfelt poem. That is a wonderful photo of your great-grandparents.
Blessings.
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KathyB.October 15, 2009 at 11:34 PM
Audrey, I still miss my father very much and this poem touches my heart.
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A Little bit about the grandparents

I consider myself blessed to have known my paternal great-grandparents. Allie and Knapp were a couple straight out of "Little House on the Prairie. They lost a child while still in Kansas and soon after traveled to Washington state where they homesteaded a goodly piece of land and proceeded to build a beautiful farm where the flowers bloomed with abundance to match the fruit of the orchard and the fields of grain.

Their second son, Glenn married Pearl, had a son by her but she gave her life to bring him forth. She died when her baby son, Lloyd, was born. The grandparents raised the boy while Glennn married a young woman named Beulah. They had two boys, but grandson, Lloyd stayed on with them . when he was 8 years-old his father, Glenn was killed by a truck load of logs that rolled off a train and crushed him to pieces.

Their lives seemed one long tragedy, yet love was more alive there than most any other place I have ever been. My father, Lloyd married Maudie Clark and I was their first child, born in our own little house on the Moore property. How could anything so right go so terribly wrong??

By the time I came along the grandparents were in their 80's and life happened. My parents divorced and though I stauyd mainly with my mother I spent a great deal of time with my dad and Grandpa and Grandma on the farm...or what was left of it by this time.

There never was running water in the, "big" house or an inside toilet and only limited electricity.

On most days Grandma sat in the parlor in her rocker in front of a standing radio and two windows where the honeysuckle smiled- in during the summer months; the Bible at her side.

The kitchen floor sank in a little and the oil-cloth on the big square table
was worn from the meals that had been served there. A kerosene lamp stood there also and somehow it always smelled like apple pie.

My grandma was just under 5 feet tall, with grey hair pulled back in a bun and little tiny feet. She could not see well and wore thick glasses, maybe not a pretty picture to anyone else but a matchless queen to me, and whenever she asked me to go to her closet and bring a certain box to her side I knew I was about to see wonderous things or to hear grand stories

My family's history was in those boxes and over the few years that I had my dear great-grandparents I learned who I was. Grandpa had his tales to tell also. One such story was the one about a horse kicking him in the chest and he DID seems to have a hoof print in that spot.

Grandpa chewed...tobacco that is... and watching him bite off a chunk of the rich chocolate colored stuff was very tempting. My mother told me that when she was expecting me she was so overcome with temptation that she snuck a piece of the tobacco when Grandpa wasn't looking and had her chew...and spent some time with her head hanging over the dandelion field behind the house.

Grandpa Knapp was an unusual fella. Once a year the grandparents house was scrubbed inside with calsomine, a white paint-like substance. He had to walk to the paint store which was a good 5 miles one way. His walks were going to become a problem later on after Grandma was gone but that will have to come later.