Friday, November 13, 2009

Through a different kind of jungle

This mini cookbook is something I've been fooling around with for awhile. A critic I know
thinks it is quite good as slapstick comedy goes and might make an acceptable, "coffee table" piece. Forgive me if you think it is the silliest piece of writing you have ever seen.
Perhaps you don't know much about Tarzan's Jane; well, she was one-in-a-million, and a good thing too. It is too horrible to contemplate more than one of our "sisters" being tossed from pillar to elephant in such rustic surroundings. Jane was a real lady, English if we remember correctly. She exuded refinement from every dirty little toe. Gentleness and charm mingled within her snarled and matted curls; definetely, "to the manor born."
Alas, poor Jane became lost in a remote area of the African jungle. It isn't clear to us now just how she got there. There is some fuzzy recollection about her having been on safari with her father. It's possible that she wandered off in search of a, "ladies room" and shockingly found herself stuck amongst the briars and the pricklies unable to free her delicate self without unthinkable embarrassment. And so, there she remained until...Enter, Tarzan, the King of the Jungle; a man not clear-headed about finding his OWN way back to civilization by most accounts., (actually, EVERY account paints him as a rather slow dunderhead.) He, himself, had been lost since childhood and didn't know it. And, in spite of seeing his quite human face mirrored in every mud hole south of Egypt , the fellow believed himself to be one of the Great Hairy Ones, an ape.
What can we say, except it wasn't his eyesight that made him famous, it was Edgar Rice Burroughs, the author who fictionalized our man of the jungle.
If we were reading a real book at the moment I would tell you to turn the page and take the first step into the leaf-shadowed world of Jane's "kitchen" and some unusual---we might even call it bizarrw--cuisine. So, go ahead, pretend we are reading a book
First Recipe
Acey Deucy Juicy Watusi Dessert
3 cu diced rhubarb
1/3cu honey
1 egg beaten
1 tsp vanilla
1 cu flour1/4tsp salt
3 Tbls orange juice
1 Tbl butter 1/2cu honey
2 Tble sour cream1/4 tsp soda
Preheat oven to 350 and grease an 8x8 inch pan. Arrange rhubarb in pan. Mix orange juice and honey. Drizzle over rhubarb and dot with butter. In medium bowl combine egg, honey vanilla and sour cream. Mix flour salt and soda. Add to egg mixture. Spread batter over rhubarb and bake about 30 minutes, or until nicely browned. ONE DISGRUNTLED OLD CHIEF BECAME PERFECTLY GRUNTLED AFTER JANE SERVED HIM A BANANA LEAF FULL OF THIS TREAT.
(These are actual recipe's from an old book as the saying goes: only the names have been changed.


  1. Tarzan was a real smart guy, like the people who hung around Superman and did not know him when he put on his glasses.

  2. Ha ha! Audrey, what an enjoyable read! I think you should bring this dish to a potluck very soon. Invite Tarzan, Jane and the chief too!