Having a Chat With Your Cat(a little fictionary fun)

From all sides we get the message that a lot of us are carrying too much weight...and I don't mean bar-bells. Although Americans make up less than 5 per cent of the world's population the balance of fat is definitely on our side of the ocean. I ought to know. Over the last few years I have put on my share of extra pounds. There is now the equivelent of two of me in the same skin I started out with. I can almost feel my small section of personal Terra Firma sinking daily.

Fortunes have been made by selling books convincing us we can get rid of that chubbiness, (and thereby, all good things that go along with breathing.) Still, many of us have not been successful at keeping it off, and it seems we have passed on this weakness to our pets.

The latest subject in one national magazine is, Having a chat with your Cat about his fat. Dr. Seuss knew this would be a problem long ago, but, nobody would listen and now we have felines living in our homes that weigh in at 46 pounds. My five-year-old grandaughter doesn't weigh that much. Admittedly, the aformentioned kitty holds the worlds record for the fattest cat in the world, but, it is not uncommon for our whiskered friends to tip the scale anywhere between 12-25 pounds! This is proof of a gross misuse of tuna fish.

My point is this, if we can't manage to shave off a pound or two, (or, ninety) of our own, what makes anybody think we will have the determination to force our pudgy cat to be fit? Because it's much less painful to slim down the kitty, that's why. Simply cut the pet's portion in half and do away with between-meal snacks. If somebody had done that for me, with the necessary restraints so I couldn't reach the kitchen, all the mirrors would now be back in my home.

However, nothing is ever that simple. The advocates of the feline fitness plan also ask that we act as our cat's persoanl trainer. We are to run around the room, dragging a feather on a string so they can chase it and get their exercise; several times a day. Who do you know that would do that for you?

Another exercise suggestion is placing a bird-feeder right outside of a window so your cat can go bananas, throwing himself repeatedly at the glass trying to capture a tender morsel.

Maybe I could go along with all of this if I was burdened with a tubby calico, but one pet owners ordeal left me without much understanding. She claimed her cat hadn't received enough TLC, (tender loving care) for the day, which was another aspect of the fitness program, along with rubbing acupuncture points and massaging the tummy. (No comment.) Anyway, this particular day happened to be Thanksgiving, and by way of, "pay back" Tabby ate all of the stuffing from the turkey before it was brought to the table. The owner took the episode to mean she should get to lovin' that cat.

Funny, I would have felt a completely different need.